would you recognize it?

...if it jumped up, and bit you on the ass?

5.12.2005

so....this sounds legit, right?

i just got this email. it's totally real, no? i mean, i know those god-damn nigerians have been trying to fuck me for a while now. thank god for the creation of that 7-man committee.

-----------------

Sir/Madam,

This is to notify you that your case was presented to us and was deliberated upon Last Monday during the on going National Economic Summit of the Federal Republic of Nigeria in the presence of the president, Federal Republic Of Nigeria, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, GCFR, the Honorable Minister of Finance,Dr. Mrs. Ngozi Iweala-Okonjo, The New Central Bank of Nigeria Governor, Prof.Charles Soludo and other key economic policy matters. It was discovered to the dismay of all participants that your payment Has been unnecessarily delayed despite been cleared by the authorized Financial regulatory bodies.
It was discovered that some unscrupulous individuals aiming to frustrate all your efforts have removed some vital documents from your payment file. However, a 7-man harmonization, normalization, notarization, computerization and re-documentation committee has been set up to finally perfect all the necessary documentation to that effect. After much strict scrutiny on your file, we discovered that some top government officials in Nigeria especially in banks are working against your interest in this case.
We have decided to go into a pact with reputable Banks to settle your payment. You are to contact me immediately for the setting up of your accredited payment access code number and allocation of foreign exchange for your Payment through the nominated bank.
Best regards
Alex Chioma
Chief Financial Consultant,
Federal Ministry of Finance.
Federal Republic of Nigeria.

5.03.2005

i heart god fearing peoples.

speechless. crying. difficulty breathing. see for yourself, this "proposal for long term friendship" i just got on friendster:

----------------------------------------------------
Hi

Hope u r fine as I m here now. while surfing I
find you and as I like u, I could not prevent
myself to propose you for long term friendship. I
would really love a sober friendship.

About me ; I am never married catholic male
from India working in Indias largest food product
company. As far as education qualification is
concerned, I am bachelor of arts, bachelor of
laws, diploma in secretaryship plus some
certificate courses. I am a loving, caring,
innocent and god fearing person and believe in
honesty to each other.

r u interested in such relation with me ? If yes,
v can further exchange details and our likings
through our personal email ID. Please send me
your details at my personal email box at
------@yahoo.com if v can be nice friends.
Yes, we do not know anything about each other
but this is the beginning which can lead us for
serious relation. You can also visit my home if
you wish.
I shall be very happy to welcome you.

With love.

tobias funke (names changed to protect the innocent)