camp onawana, we hold you in our hearts.

i don't know if that's actually how you spell the name of the camp, but...


You are SALUTE YOUR SHORTS. You are a wangsta who
knows business. You have fun in the sun and
know how to have a good laugh.


Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
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seriously, i think i'm just gonna take stupid quizzes all day.

eureka!

title doesn't make sense, but that's how i like it. so eff off.


You are David Hume. You single-handedly made
monkeys out of guys with a lot more education
and experience than you, making you the most
famous empirical skeptic who has ever existed.
You believed that all ideas were merely copies
of sensations, and with this simple principle
you almost destroyed all of philosophy, not to
mention religion, ethics, and the basis of
natural science. While you give us no
assurances that we are justified in any of our
most treasured beliefs, you never let these
pain-in-the-ass views stop you from enjoying a
beer and a good game of billiards at the end of
the day.


Which philosopher are you?
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start making money for nothing.....NOW.

well well. aren't those of us who have blogs the lucky ones. not only were we some of the first to be able to get a gmail acocunt, we can make money off the sorry assholes who would pay for one. who's got my heady gmail?

sweet fucking christ.

okay. this is gonna be long. but i promise, it's so worth reading. i'll describe each part.

first, i get the following email from this guy i dated in high school. we're still somewhat friends, and he insists on sending out mass forwards, and they're usually either stupid or mildly pro-bush. which in itself makes me throw up a little, to think that he could be so vehemently pro-bush. i lost my virginity to this person? like, gag me with a spoon:

-----------------------------------------------
subject: senior citizen letter

I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I
had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and
had several vacation homes.
Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse. I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I lost my homes. I lost my health insurance. As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.
I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in the next election
I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go!
I just thought you would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.

Sincerely,
Sadaam Hussein
------------------------------------------------

normally i delete the inane shit he sends me, but i couldn't ignore it this time. there were a lot of people getting this email, and that made me think of the thousands and thousands of others that would get it. so, i relplied all:

------------------------------------------------
"are you serious? do you really support sending this around to people? do you really think that if a democrat ends up in office, we're all fucked because he'll forget about saddam hussein? and he might allow for stem cell research funding. that heathen. i'm very happy stopping scientific advances before they could possibly help someone. that inviable fetus? no, don't touch it. just let it sit there and we'll have all the people suffering with parkinson's and alzheimer's watch it do nothing while they slowly die.

i'm sorry, but i hate bush. he is a moron and an embarrassment to me as an american citizen, and moreover, as a human being. please unsubscribe me from your brainwashing, catholicism imposing republican mailing list."
------------------------------------------------

i don't know. i thought that was mild, no? so, someone writes to everyone, and supports me. someone else writes, and was like good job tom, keep sending these. then today, tom replies all:

------------------------------------------------
"ok enough about this already ......
all of the "tree huggers" have made their point.
If you took your face out of your bong for a second ...
maybe you would realize that if national security takes a back
seat to some other issues that the Dems feel are more important ...
(like getting head from an intern or covering up your whitewater
scandals)
then YES we ARE all screwed ! It is so obvious how much Clinton depleted our
intelligence, military, and homeland defense .. so that he could make everyone "feel good" about the economy .. then 9/11 happened as a result of this gaping intelligence hole left by good ole Hill-Bill Clinton ... and ask some of the guys in law
enforcement if they "felt good" digging through WTC remains for anything that looked like it might have been a human being at one time. We all have our opinions and the freedom to choose a party or a belief.. but one thing is for certain ... no matter
who you are .. you got those freedoms because someone felt it was more important
to fight and die for you in wars that are necessary to protect the United
States and it's people. I do hope that we can start to use these sciences so
that people do not have to suffer ...but let's not forget that our lives and security are a little more important, because without that we have NOTHING ! So folks don't let the Dems try to brainwash YOU into sweeping 9/11 under a rug because they f**ked up and left Bush to deal with it !!!!!If you don't like what I have to say ... TOO F**KIN BAD ! I would hate to think that friends of mine are in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives for some asshole that thinks what they are doing is a waste of time ... I pray .... that's right P-R-A-Y for these people and thank GOD that they have the courage to go over there and fight for this country, for people like me and unfortunately people like you ! So next time a you see a veteran,a police officer,a firefighter,an EMS person thank them for protecting you..
and next time you tree huggers see me ...
KISS MY WHITE,CATHOLIC,AMERICAN,GOD-LOVING,REPUBLICAN ASS !
MY JOB IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE LIKE YOU FROM TERRORISTS !?! SAD.
PHISH BROKE UP ............. GET OVER IT !"
-------------------------------------------------

i almost peed my pants when i read this. i tried to keep my response brief. once again, reply all:

-------------------------------------------------
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

i'll try to keep it brief. i am not a "tree hugger". my face is nowhere near a bong. i am an intelligent, rational, scientific person.

"you got those freedoms because someone felt it was more important
to fight and die for you in wars that are necessary to protect the United
States and it's people."

wars are not necessary. you know why? because there would be no wars if everyone would keep to themselves. why must we go around the world imposing our beliefs on everyone? why should we care? this country was founded on the premise that we wanted to be free in our own land, and take care of ourselves. not to go to random countries, spouting off that democracy is the only way and jesus loves you.

these wars happen because we, as a country, are so effing close-minded. there are other superstitions, i mean religions, than christianity. there are other "moral obligations and social behaviors" that differ from ours. what this country needs to realize is that's okay. it doesn't effect us. leave them the eff alone.

"I would hate to think that friends of mine are in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives for some asshole that thinks what they are doing is a waste of time"

i never said it was a waste of time. i think the reasons behind it are wrong and could have been avoided if once, oh just once, we could have a president that was actually intelligent and not corrupt. and you thank these people, yet why aren't you over there with them?

in conclusion...stop being so close-minded. do yourself a HUGE favor and read the fountainhead. like, really read it. hopefully it will help."
---------------------------------------------------

i'd love to see tom try to read that book. anyway, if you want in on the discussion, just let me know, give me your email addy, and i'll put you on the "WHITE,CATHOLIC,AMERICAN,GOD-LOVING,REPUBLICAN" mailing list that i somehow forget signing up for.

For hookers, convention's time to lay low.

not even kidding. it appears as though the boston herald is looking to cover all aspects of how the dnc is going to eff everyone in boston over. EVERYONE.

from the herald:

------------------------------------------------------------------
By Christopher Cox
Sunday, June 20, 2004

During a slow mid-week evening in Chinatown, Shay-Shay, a 39-year-old streetwalker, stopped to consider the economic potential of the upcoming Democratic National Convention.

``I'm hoping to (make money),'' said the Roxbury woman, a 17-year veteran who declined to give her real name. ``But I'll probably be laying low.''

Conventions and illicit sex. The conventional wisdom is they go together like rubber chickens and long-winded keynote speakers.

But with Democratic National Convention security as tight as a black-leather bustier, the local sex industry may suffer from election dysfunction.

``There is a large influx of gentlemen in town with money to burn and a party atmosphere,'' said Kim Airs, proprietrix of Brookline's Grand Opening! sex boutique - and a former escort-for-hire. ``They're here for a limited time and there's temptation. A lot follow through on it.''

An estimated 35,000 conventioners are expected to spend $126 million during the July 26-29 DNC event. Not all of that money will be spent on Boston hotels, restaurants and taxis; some discretionary spending undoubtedly will be dropped on indiscretions.

According to Jeannette Angell, a former Boston prostitute, some local madams believe the Hub will be raining johns come late July.

``One woman I know is going to advertise the hell out of it,'' said Angell, whose memoir, ``Callgirl,'' will be published this summer. ``She's making or continuing arrangements with hotel concierges that she knows.''

But other operators view the DNC as a disruption to their business.

``The woman I worked for is cutting back on advertising and is probably not going to make a whole lot of extra money,'' Angell said. ``She's pulling her ads in the Phoenix and Boston magazine.''

``(The madam) would rather keep up with her regulars, which are 80 percent of her business,'' Angell added. ``They're not necessarily going to have any increased needs during the convention, but it's going to be tougher to get people places with the traffic.

``Running a service like an out-call, a lot of girls use taxis or have their own cars. It's going to be horrendous.''

There it is. Not unlike local mayors, the madams are whining about traffic.

Heightened law enforcement also can put a dent in love for sale.

During the week of July 28-August 4, 2000, when the Republicans held their national convention in Philadelphia, there was only one arrest for prostitution in the 6th and 9th districts, the downtown hotel area. The previous year, police in the two districts made 28 prostitution arrests during the same timeframe .

``Basically, we had police all over the place,'' said Philadelphia police Lt. Gene Cummings of the deputy commissioner's office.

In August 2000, when Los Angeles hosted the DNC, police in the downtown Central Bureau made zero prostitution arrests. In 1999, the same region netted 10 arrests. But the drop-off had nothing to do with vice-unit deterrence.

``The officers were probably not doing prostitution details that evening,'' said an LAPD spokesperson. ``They were tasked to do something else. The girls here don't get that discouraged.''

Lt. Kevin Foley, a Boston Police Department spokesman, said the local force has no special streetwalker sweeps planned for the convention.

Since 9/11, noted Angell, other law-enforcement issues have assumed greater priority.

``The police will be more concerned with people blowing up a delegate than anyone bl----g a delegate,'' Airs observed."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! bl----g a delegate! i'm actually impressed that they printed that. awesome.

a new haiku, using 2 of my new favorite words:

i'll never be clean
why am i such a clowndick?
i stepped in weaksauce.

in a last minute decision, i've been trying to make a last minute purchase. i decided that if i could find a ticket, i'd go see phish in brooklyn on friday.

so, i've been checking ticketmaster constantly all day to see if i can get a re-released ticket. just a minute ago, i had to type in the work "hirudo". i use the term "word" lightly, since merriam-webster has never heard of this "word" either. however, it did spark a nice dialogue in my head:

---------------------------------------------
bm: (scribble scribble)

vv: rirruto? who's rirruto?

bm: those are z's.

vv: well, they look like r's.

bm: that's not fair. rizzuto's not even a word, it's a person.

vv: would you like to try the word buzz?
---------------------------------------------

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i love that movie. i should watch it sometime in the next few days.

this is mojo, my helper monkey. he loves wearing mardi gras beads. 

mojo is obviously british. he's such a good monkey. he's a cheeky monkey. 

i'm finally cool. i signed up for a gmail account. now, if you want to get in touch with me, please email me at:

luvchuck@gmail.com

or just click on the "email me" in the sidehatch.

what can i say, i'm a tomboy.

thanks to wendy for posting a link to this site. i'd say it's accurate.


You're GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip!! You're
strong, tough, and know how to kick some ass.
Don't forget though, no matter how manly you
think you are, you're still just a doll. God
Bless America.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
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