sweet fucking christ.
okay. this is gonna be long. but i promise, it's so worth reading. i'll describe each part.
first, i get the following email from this guy i dated in high school. we're still somewhat friends, and he insists on sending out mass forwards, and they're usually either stupid or mildly pro-bush. which in itself makes me throw up a little, to think that he could be so vehemently pro-bush. i lost my virginity to this person? like, gag me with a spoon:
-----------------------------------------------
subject: senior citizen letter
I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I
had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and
had several vacation homes.
Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse. I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I lost my homes. I lost my health insurance. As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.
I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in the next election
I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go!
I just thought you would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
Sincerely,
Sadaam Hussein
------------------------------------------------
normally i delete the inane shit he sends me, but i couldn't ignore it this time. there were a lot of people getting this email, and that made me think of the thousands and thousands of others that would get it. so, i relplied all:
------------------------------------------------
"are you serious? do you really support sending this around to people? do you really think that if a democrat ends up in office, we're all fucked because he'll forget about saddam hussein? and he might allow for stem cell research funding. that heathen. i'm very happy stopping scientific advances before they could possibly help someone. that inviable fetus? no, don't touch it. just let it sit there and we'll have all the people suffering with parkinson's and alzheimer's watch it do nothing while they slowly die.
i'm sorry, but i hate bush. he is a moron and an embarrassment to me as an american citizen, and moreover, as a human being. please unsubscribe me from your brainwashing, catholicism imposing republican mailing list."
------------------------------------------------
i don't know. i thought that was mild, no? so, someone writes to everyone, and supports me. someone else writes, and was like good job tom, keep sending these. then today, tom replies all:
------------------------------------------------
"ok enough about this already ......
all of the "tree huggers" have made their point.
If you took your face out of your bong for a second ...
maybe you would realize that if national security takes a back
seat to some other issues that the Dems feel are more important ...
(like getting head from an intern or covering up your whitewater
scandals)
then YES we ARE all screwed ! It is so obvious how much Clinton depleted our
intelligence, military, and homeland defense .. so that he could make everyone "feel good" about the economy .. then 9/11 happened as a result of this gaping intelligence hole left by good ole Hill-Bill Clinton ... and ask some of the guys in law
enforcement if they "felt good" digging through WTC remains for anything that looked like it might have been a human being at one time. We all have our opinions and the freedom to choose a party or a belief.. but one thing is for certain ... no matter
who you are .. you got those freedoms because someone felt it was more important
to fight and die for you in wars that are necessary to protect the United
States and it's people. I do hope that we can start to use these sciences so
that people do not have to suffer ...but let's not forget that our lives and security are a little more important, because without that we have NOTHING ! So folks don't let the Dems try to brainwash YOU into sweeping 9/11 under a rug because they f**ked up and left Bush to deal with it !!!!!If you don't like what I have to say ... TOO F**KIN BAD ! I would hate to think that friends of mine are in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives for some asshole that thinks what they are doing is a waste of time ... I pray .... that's right P-R-A-Y for these people and thank GOD that they have the courage to go over there and fight for this country, for people like me and unfortunately people like you ! So next time a you see a veteran,a police officer,a firefighter,an EMS person thank them for protecting you..
and next time you tree huggers see me ...
KISS MY WHITE,CATHOLIC,AMERICAN,GOD-LOVING,REPUBLICAN ASS !
MY JOB IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE LIKE YOU FROM TERRORISTS !?! SAD.
PHISH BROKE UP ............. GET OVER IT !"
-------------------------------------------------
i almost peed my pants when i read this. i tried to keep my response brief. once again, reply all:
-------------------------------------------------
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
i'll try to keep it brief. i am not a "tree hugger". my face is nowhere near a bong. i am an intelligent, rational, scientific person.
"you got those freedoms because someone felt it was more important
to fight and die for you in wars that are necessary to protect the United
States and it's people."
wars are not necessary. you know why? because there would be no wars if everyone would keep to themselves. why must we go around the world imposing our beliefs on everyone? why should we care? this country was founded on the premise that we wanted to be free in our own land, and take care of ourselves. not to go to random countries, spouting off that democracy is the only way and jesus loves you.
these wars happen because we, as a country, are so effing close-minded. there are other superstitions, i mean religions, than christianity. there are other "moral obligations and social behaviors" that differ from ours. what this country needs to realize is that's okay. it doesn't effect us. leave them the eff alone.
"I would hate to think that friends of mine are in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives for some asshole that thinks what they are doing is a waste of time"
i never said it was a waste of time. i think the reasons behind it are wrong and could have been avoided if once, oh just once, we could have a president that was actually intelligent and not corrupt. and you thank these people, yet why aren't you over there with them?
in conclusion...stop being so close-minded. do yourself a HUGE favor and read the fountainhead. like, really read it. hopefully it will help."
---------------------------------------------------
i'd love to see tom try to read that book. anyway, if you want in on the discussion, just let me know, give me your email addy, and i'll put you on the "WHITE,CATHOLIC,AMERICAN,GOD-LOVING,REPUBLICAN" mailing list that i somehow forget signing up for.
okay. this is gonna be long. but i promise, it's so worth reading. i'll describe each part.
first, i get the following email from this guy i dated in high school. we're still somewhat friends, and he insists on sending out mass forwards, and they're usually either stupid or mildly pro-bush. which in itself makes me throw up a little, to think that he could be so vehemently pro-bush. i lost my virginity to this person? like, gag me with a spoon:
-----------------------------------------------
subject: senior citizen letter
I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I
had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and
had several vacation homes.
Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse. I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I lost my homes. I lost my health insurance. As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.
I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in the next election
I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go!
I just thought you would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
Sincerely,
Sadaam Hussein
------------------------------------------------
normally i delete the inane shit he sends me, but i couldn't ignore it this time. there were a lot of people getting this email, and that made me think of the thousands and thousands of others that would get it. so, i relplied all:
------------------------------------------------
"are you serious? do you really support sending this around to people? do you really think that if a democrat ends up in office, we're all fucked because he'll forget about saddam hussein? and he might allow for stem cell research funding. that heathen. i'm very happy stopping scientific advances before they could possibly help someone. that inviable fetus? no, don't touch it. just let it sit there and we'll have all the people suffering with parkinson's and alzheimer's watch it do nothing while they slowly die.
i'm sorry, but i hate bush. he is a moron and an embarrassment to me as an american citizen, and moreover, as a human being. please unsubscribe me from your brainwashing, catholicism imposing republican mailing list."
------------------------------------------------
i don't know. i thought that was mild, no? so, someone writes to everyone, and supports me. someone else writes, and was like good job tom, keep sending these. then today, tom replies all:
------------------------------------------------
"ok enough about this already ......
all of the "tree huggers" have made their point.
If you took your face out of your bong for a second ...
maybe you would realize that if national security takes a back
seat to some other issues that the Dems feel are more important ...
(like getting head from an intern or covering up your whitewater
scandals)
then YES we ARE all screwed ! It is so obvious how much Clinton depleted our
intelligence, military, and homeland defense .. so that he could make everyone "feel good" about the economy .. then 9/11 happened as a result of this gaping intelligence hole left by good ole Hill-Bill Clinton ... and ask some of the guys in law
enforcement if they "felt good" digging through WTC remains for anything that looked like it might have been a human being at one time. We all have our opinions and the freedom to choose a party or a belief.. but one thing is for certain ... no matter
who you are .. you got those freedoms because someone felt it was more important
to fight and die for you in wars that are necessary to protect the United
States and it's people. I do hope that we can start to use these sciences so
that people do not have to suffer ...but let's not forget that our lives and security are a little more important, because without that we have NOTHING ! So folks don't let the Dems try to brainwash YOU into sweeping 9/11 under a rug because they f**ked up and left Bush to deal with it !!!!!If you don't like what I have to say ... TOO F**KIN BAD ! I would hate to think that friends of mine are in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives for some asshole that thinks what they are doing is a waste of time ... I pray .... that's right P-R-A-Y for these people and thank GOD that they have the courage to go over there and fight for this country, for people like me and unfortunately people like you ! So next time a you see a veteran,a police officer,a firefighter,an EMS person thank them for protecting you..
and next time you tree huggers see me ...
KISS MY WHITE,CATHOLIC,AMERICAN,GOD-LOVING,REPUBLICAN ASS !
MY JOB IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE LIKE YOU FROM TERRORISTS !?! SAD.
PHISH BROKE UP ............. GET OVER IT !"
-------------------------------------------------
i almost peed my pants when i read this. i tried to keep my response brief. once again, reply all:
-------------------------------------------------
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
i'll try to keep it brief. i am not a "tree hugger". my face is nowhere near a bong. i am an intelligent, rational, scientific person.
"you got those freedoms because someone felt it was more important
to fight and die for you in wars that are necessary to protect the United
States and it's people."
wars are not necessary. you know why? because there would be no wars if everyone would keep to themselves. why must we go around the world imposing our beliefs on everyone? why should we care? this country was founded on the premise that we wanted to be free in our own land, and take care of ourselves. not to go to random countries, spouting off that democracy is the only way and jesus loves you.
these wars happen because we, as a country, are so effing close-minded. there are other superstitions, i mean religions, than christianity. there are other "moral obligations and social behaviors" that differ from ours. what this country needs to realize is that's okay. it doesn't effect us. leave them the eff alone.
"I would hate to think that friends of mine are in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives for some asshole that thinks what they are doing is a waste of time"
i never said it was a waste of time. i think the reasons behind it are wrong and could have been avoided if once, oh just once, we could have a president that was actually intelligent and not corrupt. and you thank these people, yet why aren't you over there with them?
in conclusion...stop being so close-minded. do yourself a HUGE favor and read the fountainhead. like, really read it. hopefully it will help."
---------------------------------------------------
i'd love to see tom try to read that book. anyway, if you want in on the discussion, just let me know, give me your email addy, and i'll put you on the "WHITE,CATHOLIC,AMERICAN,GOD-LOVING,REPUBLICAN" mailing list that i somehow forget signing up for.
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