the jackrabbit strikes again.

so, over the past 2 years i've occasionally noticed my neighbor having sex. usually, it's just a faint banging against the wall. he must have a headboard on his bed, and the thing will bang on the wall like a fucking metronome. honestly, he's so regular with this thrusts. but it's always just banging, and then the banging will get a little more rapid and louder. and then it stops. and then i hear talking. which means that both parties are completely silent during the jackrabbit session. how fucking boring, right?

well, last night was the first time i'd heard him in months. and dear god, did i feel sorry for the poor girl that was in his bed. it was the loudest i'd ever heard, and it went on for quite some time. every now and then it would stop for a few minutes, and then start back up.

naturally, having to listen to this was like a declaration of war. so travis and i (oh right. it's been awhile. travis = the boy) naturally had to fight back. only i have no headboard. and he actually knows what he's doing in bed and is therefore NOT a jackrabbit. i mean, don't get me wrong. we won. i'd say my noisiness alone destroyed them. but while we were laying there, about to fall asleep, the pounding starts again! we couldn't believe it. i actually pounded back on the wall with my fist and yelled, "LEAVE THAT POOR GIRL ALONE! THERE'S NO WAY SHE'S ENJOYING THAT UNLESS SHE'S A PORN STAR!"

moral of the story...i need to get a headboard.

happy new year, bitches.
yee fucking haw! as much as i think it's retarded that moe. doesn't play anything right at midnight, i won't complain as long as al. gives me a bottle of champagne every year.

save the bluths.

please please please tell me you all (does anyone even read this anymore?) watched arrested development last night. how can this show be cancelled? it is so fucking funny that it's almost hard to believe it can exist. bob loblaw's law blog? fucking ingenious.

in other news, i am fighting the impending wook. seems like everyone that i was with in ashevegas is getting sick, but i refuse. my perfect cube birthday will not be ruined.

speaking of which...it's been 2 years now, ahren, and still no flowers. for shame.

how to make money without working.

when i was out in california on moe. tour this past april, lynnja reminded me of a conversation we once had. basically, we were having a brainstorming session, trying to figure out how we could possibly not work and yet have enough money to go on tour whenever and wherever we wanted. the obvious answer is to find some sort of sugar daddy, but that's so trite that it just wouldn't do. we wanted to be more creative, so we entertained ideas of being able to do what we love and that somehow other people would want to pay us for it.

examples would include having our own sketch comedy show, or lynnja writing, or me making jewelry or paintings. stuff like that. but then i brought up that even though these ideas were things that we love, it's still actually doing work. i wanted to find something that truly was work-free.

lynnja: hmmm. i'm not really sure.
me: i know! even though it's cliche, we could just whore ourselves out.
lynnja: yeah, but that's still doing work.
me: not if you just lay there.

i think it's valid.

almost 20 years later, and joe elliott is still hot as hell. no wonder i loved the song "excitable" when i was 9. i had no idea what the lyrics meant, but i knew the song made me feel excited about whatever it was that i would do with joe elliott if i ever met him.

def fucking leppard!!!

the year was 1987. i was 8 years old, and already completely obsessed with music. my first 45s were "let's get physical" by olivia newton john and the theme song to "greatest american hero". my first album was bon jovi's "slippery when wet" in 1986. that was huge, but not as huge as what was to come the following year.

i was constantly watching mtv. i actually owned a "club mtv" sweatshirt. so, while grooving to bon jovi, europe, and george michael, i see a new video. 5 guys from sheffield england. i was instantly in love with the hottie with the long blonde hair and massively ripped jeans. and they had such a cool name...def leppard.

i bought the hysteria tape, and the rest is history. i can very clearly remember sitting in my room, on the floor next to my boom box, listening to the song "hysteria", rewinding, listening again, rewinding, over and over again. i had pictures of joe elliott plastered all over my walls. i may have only been 8, but i already had a very serious crush on one hot hunk of man. i would daydream about kissing joe elliott...all day, every day. my world was ruled by lep. and that's why, in 1991, i remember being devastated when i heard that steve "steamin" clark had died.

july 27, 1988. the day def leppard played at the allentown fairgrounds. i was mad at my mom for at least a full year because she wouldn't let me go to the concert. sure, i was only 9, but i needed to be there.

fast forward to this past tuesday. in discussions about possibly going to see bon jovi in december, a friend mentions to me that def leppard was playing that night in boston. memories flood my brain instantly. i hadn't thought about lep since 1993. i mean, every now and then i would think, "oh, i should buy hysteria on cd." but then i'd forget. anyway, we agree to meet at the show, and see if we can find some cheap tickets. turned out they were selling student tickets (and kelly's a BU law student). so, kelly, melissa and i get our $20 tickets. we missed 5th row seats by 10 minutes.

the show starts, and i almost cried. i couldn't believe i was FINALLY seeing def leppard! i wasn't sure what to expect going into it, really hoping it wouldn't be a sad, nostaglia act. it wasn't. it was absolutely awesome! sav was wearing a white muscle shirt, with white-ish jeans, always trying to see how far apart he could spread his legs while rockin on the bass. phil collen has his shirt off for most of the show. rick allen still has only one arm. and joe elliott is still one hot hunk of man. i couldn't stop myself from repeatedly yelling, "i've wanted you for 17 years, joe, and i still do!!!" one of the most incredibly fun shows i've been to. and that's just 2 weeks after finally seeing paul mccartney.

i haven't listened to lep in years, and yet all the words to all the songs just came pouring out of my mouth. even the random screams, and the "come on, steve, get it"s. and then that made me sad that steve is no longer there.

overall, one of the best experiences of my life. if it hadn't been raining, melissa and i were gonna wait out back by the buses, just like we never got to do in 1988. joe would never even know what hit him.

setlist from 10.11.05 - boston, ma
action, let it go, make love like a man, hysteria*, promises, no
matter what**, love bites, armageddon it, gods of war***, rock on^,
rocket^^, photograph, animal, rock of ages

E: bringing on the heartbreak, pour some sugar on me


* phil collen takes his shirt off
** badfinger cover, off of new album, also covered by lillian axe in
the early 90s
*** SICK
^ i forget who the original was, but michael damian the soap star
covered this around the time sugar/armageddon came out
^^ REALLY SICK

setlist provided by posty.

i'm officially re-obsessed with lep. i've been listening to vault almost constantly since wednesday. and i stand by my opinion that "hysteria" is one of the greatest songs ever written. and it's now my ringer, and i couldn't be happier.

metatarsal stress fracture.

What is Metatarsal Stress Fracture?
There are five metatarsal bones, each of which travels out to a toe in the foot. The metatarsals connect with the tarsal bones in the hindfoot (rear of the foot) and the phalanges (toes) in the front of the foot. There are several kinds of metatarsal fracture, including stress fractures as well as more acute, and possibly multiple fractures of any of the five metatarsals.

Stress fractures (hairline breaks) are common in the metatarsals. They are usually caused by repetitive stress, such as with a new military recruit who has a sudden increase in his/her need to march. Other metatarsal fractures typically result from a direct blow to the foot, resulting from a trauma such as a fall from a height.

General symptoms of a stress fracture include a sharp pain while walking and mild swelling, in the affected area. It is uncomfortable when pressure is applied to the small area surrounding the site. Acute fractures may result in inability to put weight on the foot, swelling, and more severe pain. Even acute fractures usually have little displacement when they occur in a metatarsal bone.

Patients are usually surprised to find out that a stress fracture takes 8-12 weeks to heal.

i wish i had a good story for this, but i don't. i have no idea how i did this, but now with this cool boot i've got, i just need a nice helmet and i'll be all set.

seriously, what the fuck is a holla back girl?

personally, i've never liked gwen stefani. yes, even way back in the day when she was mildly cool (circa 1994). she just gets on my nerves. and with each passing year, she becomes more and more retarded. the first time i heard "if i was a rich girl" i gagged. literally gagged. i didn't think it could possibly get worse.

i ain't no holla back girl? wtf is that supposed to mean? and why on god's green earth are they spelling bananas in the song?

i've wanted to write about this for a while, but kept forgetting. but last night, i caught the beginning of the teen choice awards, and gwen comes out singing this song wearing a band uniform, with her weird japanese girls following (apparently she pays them to follow her everywhere, and they're not allowed to speak english), and about a million actual high school band geeks playing. and all the girls in the audience are smiling and cheering and chanting along "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!" like holy shit, you can spell bananas.

so, i decided to do a little sleuthing. in order to do this, i turned to my favorite site for getting caught up on the lingo of the day...urbandictionary.com. the first definition for "holla back girl" is:

1. A girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call. She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them. example: Jermaine fools around with Aisha. Thinking he likes her, she waits around for him to make contact with her again.

um, okay. this was kind of my impression too, since it sounds like gwen thinks it's bad to be a holla back girl. but why does this song sound like we're in the bleachers at a high school football game, listening to the worst song ever written? we now move onto the next definition:

2. A holla back girl is a member of a cheerleading squad who repeats – hollers back - words that the squad leader shouts out to them. For example at a Pep Rally, cheerleaders might shout out “S-P-I-R-I-T” and the squad leader asks “What does that spell?” and the holla back girls respond – hollering back “SPIRIT”. In the context of Gwen Stefani’s song “Hollaback Girl”, the term also refers to a girl who has heard about some guy talking bad about her and she isn’t just going to take it – she is going to be the leader, take charge and put an end to his verbal “cheerleading”.

Gwen Stefani lyrics - "I heard that you were talking sh** And you didn't think that I would hear it. People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack. . . . 'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl,I ain't no hollaback girl".

so, right. that actually makes a little more sense. it sounds like the worst cheer ever, because it is. whatevs. but then there's this other definition:

3. Yep, this is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. A song about high school cheerleaders(??) performed by a 35 year old woman. example: I know I'm 35 but if you talk shit about me I'll ask you to meet me under the bleachers, of the high school I graduated (??) from 17 years ago, so I can kick your ass.

basically, i've learned a little from urban dictionary. but it doesn't change the fact that this song, along with gwen stefani, needs to go away, never to be heard from again.

love me, jeffrey.

no, you're not going crazy. or "tripping face". i've decided that in order to rekindle my love affair with my blog, it was time for a change. so, behold my new template. i love it bunches.

that and when i changed something on my last template, i effed something up and i couldn't figure out how to fix it.

warm and fuzzy.

wow. people from the phillipines are really nice. this wonderful person just wrote to me on friendster. he really knows how to sweet talk...

hi, i'm rowdy roddy piper* from manila philippines,,iwant u 2
be my friend although i'm here..can i get your fucking e-mail...,,
,,pls,.,, its my 1st time 2 have freind outside my coun3..,,,


*name changed to protect the innocent

keep on truckin, fat man.

first, my sincere apologies. my life has simply been less than thrilling the past 2 months, and therefore i was empty when it came to writing. i'll try to be more interesting in my real life, so that my interweb life will follow suit.

i have to admit...10 years ago today i didn't appreciate the death of jerry garcia. i was 16 and heavily into pearl jam and live. i had listened to the dead a very little bit. i did have a "sunshine daydream" tshirt with turtles on it, but my dad got that for me when he worked at their show at giants stadium. needless to say, i was not a dead head.

i'm still not a dead head, but i can definitely appreciate how meaningful this day is. i now love the music of the dead, and i'm still very much a n00b, so i'm looking forward to the journey i have in front of me. i've spent the day listening to the few cds i have on my computer here at work, and it's made today a pretty good day. that, and my countdown to the day when i no longer have to work with "ramo".

while august 9th may not be such a sad day for me, you should see what i'm like on december 8th...god, i might even cry now.

the beatles and my muse status.

first off, what the eff is wrong with you people? i know at least 3 of you are huge beatles fans. i finally sit down, contemplate for hours and bare my soul, and not one comment on my top ten beatles songs list? i even told 2 of you in person about the list, and yet nothing. thanks.

secondly, how flippin cool is this? when i was on moe. tour out in california, i finally had the chance to make one of my obscure dreams come true. i had al. in my car, and for some reason i've always fantasized about playing some britney for him. so, i put on "toxic", and he said it was amazing. i wasn't sure if i should believe him. then, jefferson interviewed him last weekend, and this came out of the interview:

JW: Are there any specific albums that have been particularly influential over the years, strictly from a production standpoint of blending different sonic textures and recording locations.

AS: There are so many. Sonically, Dark Side of Moon, it goes without saying. Also, [The Flaming Lips'] Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, [Radiohead's] OK Computer, [Bjork's] Vespertine. I mean, there have been so many fantastic albums sonically that have really made an impact like [The Beatles'] The White Album. I love the sounds on some of those recordings.

It's funny. I frequent a lot of like audio recording geek user groups. There are these threads that are like three pages long about Ringo's snare drum sound on "Back in the USSR". Everybody talks about the pictures they've seen from the era and tries to triangulate the information and figure out how to get that sound. Everybody's offering tips on what gear to use and how to get that exact sound. I love stuff like that. It's cool to sit at home and try to recreate that stuff.

In terms of the energy, honestly, I love Workingman's Dead. I think there's such a great vibe to that album. It's a pretty introspective album for the Dead yet it has that loose, organic quality that I love so much about that band. The same is true of many Zeppelin albums. Like Zeppelin III I think is sort of the best of all worlds of Zeppelin on one album. It's got the acoustic stuff, the electric stuff. It's sort of in between the blues and the really psychedelic stuff they were doing. There are just so many. We could talk about this for days.

JW: Well, looking forward...

AS: Oh, you know what? You were actually with me at this point, when we were in Tahoe. We were in the car driving home from dinner that night and someone put in the Britney Spears album.

JW: The one with "Toxic".

AS: Oh my god, I was floored. I've never listened to Britney Spears seriously and it was kind of a joke when somebody put it on and they were gonna turn it off and I was like ‘No no no, don't touch this!' It was amazing. I couldn't believe it. Sonically, it was just disgusting how good it was. I mean, I have no idea what she was singing about, probably about being innocent and shy. But I was completely blown away and I'm not ashamed to admit it. They must have this crack team of scientists and engineers to determine what exactly you need to do to tweak the mind of fourteen-year-old girls and sixteen-year-old boys...and thirty-seven-year-old men. I was just blown away.